Friday, December 21, 2012

Lock and Load 2.0

The National Rifle Association broke its silence on the massacre with what it called an “important statement from the National Rifle Association,” saying that the organization, which has steadfastly fought almost any federal or state gun control legislation, was potentially reconsidering its position.
“The N.R.A. is prepared to offer meaningful contributions to make sure this never happens again,” the statement said. It did not offer details.

New York Times, December 18, 2012

Certainly worth the wait, here are the N.R.A. contributions to national efforts to stem gun violence.  Be sure to Like on N.R.A. Facebook page.

·        A partnership with Lord’s Resistance Army chief Joseph Kony to conjure magical spells that allow bullets to pass harmlessly though the bodies of LRA child soldiers.  “It’s worth a try and obviously he’s doing the Lord’s work.  Ought to poll good for the holidays”, said an N.R.A. spokesman.
·        A new line of N.R.A. logo hunter orange wear for children and adults.  “Hold Your Fire fashions look great while making you less of a target,” said an N.R.A. spokeswoman, wearing a fetching camisole and garters made from shell casings and the recycled socks of Republican House members.  Sold exclusively at Target.
·        Make crazy people wear thick Poindexter glasses to reduce visual acuity.  Possible product tie-in with Coke Classic in green glass bottles.
·        Gatling guns in every school.  Disguise them as lions, tigers and bears and adopt as school mascots.
·        Bring back running boards on cars.  Gangsters firing Tommy guns from outside cars are easier to hit. 
·        Redesign schools to look like barns.  Everyone knows the old adage about the difficulty of hitting their broad sides. 
·        New mandatory university seating arrangements modeled on the 18th century military tactic of massed broadsides.  All incoming freshmen will be armed with black powder rifles.  Students with Arabic surnames will be issued wet powder. 
·        Institute mandatory work place morning prayer beseeching God to allow you to live another day or at least take one in the shoulder.  Employers not liable for missed work days due to gunshot under the Act of God clause.
·        People kill people so outlaw people.  We suggest the President, liberals, progressives, humanists and Nuns On The Bus for starters.  Visit the N.R.A. website and cast your own vote from a list compiled by a committee of Republican Congressmen, Baptist theologians and Ted Nugent.   

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Fish Story

A Life

“A memoir is how one remembers one’s
own life, while an autobiography
is history requiring research,
dates, facts double-checked” opines Gore Vidal

setting us free to set all of it down
bound only by the porous net of our
recollection hauled dripping from the sea
slack save for a goggle eyed mackerel

ogling a hard knot of glistening green
crabs tangled as grandma’s fake jewelry 
and plastic six-pack cuffs in great bristling
hanks.  Arrayed on deck to dry in the sun

reeking of brine, repelling all but the
hardiest of gulls worthless talisman’s
resisting all but the most inventive
gypsy readers, I paw through the meager

haul clad in my oilskins and nor’easter
fillet knife clenched in my teeth awash in
sloshing viscera as I gut the past
heaving chum to the silent circling sharks.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012


In A Silent Town appears in Literary Kicks:  Intellectual Curiosities and Provocations,

Philosophy 101

Scrambled Logic

I can no more fathom
necessity and sufficiency
than pluck a shell
shard suspended
in glaire free
from a blue enamel bowl
thumb and index finger
blunt and bumbling
mucking blindly
about objects
of scorn ladled on
in heaps by a very tetchy yolk
aloof and afloat
encapsulating rather neatly
that eternal 
barnyard stumper
which came first
the chicken 
or the egg. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Monday, December 17, 2012

For Newtown

In A Silent City

Walk the streets of this silent city walk
all day all night and on into the next
until the sound of your footfalls ebb
by degrees, an eternity thin as
a bee’s wing between them, each one orphaned
to aimlessness stark as a sonar ping.
Find yourself before a modest house find
the courage to let yourself in to roam
empty stillborn rooms waxen in twilight
leaning lightly on a carved newel that will
never wear down beneath a warm steady
erosion of hands, their fingers destined
never to still the lips of whispering
lovers or sweep hair back from the foreheads
of feverish children or ever so
carefully lower yielding lids over
grateful eyes spared searing indelible
etching.  Small fingers laced in eternal
salvation from thoughts of putting a gun 
to God's temple and pulling the trigger.
Pray you’ll find the door and leave this house pray
for all the good it will do, solemn walls
silent witness to what will never be.

Friday, December 14, 2012