Friday, December 9, 2011

They're Playing Our Song

They're Playing Our Song

Mitt Romney is ready to rock. The Republican presidential candidate will use Kid Rocks' Born Free as his 2012 campaign theme song. The patriotic pick, first reported by the Detroit News, comes as Romney tries to shake the image that he's a buttoned up elitist who has little in common with the average American.

New York Daily News, December 8, 2011

December 9, 2011 Kid Rock tweets, “Mitt is one fucking awesome dude. Dude's got rock chops and some awesome licks. Rom's great live. Incredibly fucking awesome.”

December 9, 2011 Mitt Romney moderates a round table at the Corktown bar in Munising, a small town in Michigan's Upper Penninsula. He poses for photos in Carhart coveralls and wide brim homburg, does schnapps shooters with locals.

December 11, 2011 Newt Gingrich's team announces that it has selected Howlin Wolf's Three Hundred Pounds of Joy as it's 2012 campaign song. A spokesman for the campaign said “Newt's proud of his body, particularly his lower abdomen and thighs. We think the song strikes the right note at a critical time in America history.”

December 13, 2011 Kid Rock tweets, “Woke up after partying all week. How did my car wind up at the bottom of the pool? Worse, did I endorse Mitt Romney?”

December 14, 2011 A spokesman for Republican presidential hopeful Michelle Bachmann announces she has selected Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl as it's 2012 campaign song. “Ms. Bachmann's been planning on coming out for some time. The timing just seemed right, just before the Iowa Caucus and we wanted dibs on the song before Herman Cain snatched it up.”

December 14, 2011 Herman Cain reminds America that he only suspended his campaign, he never kissed a girl and gave an icy "no comment" to the word snatch. “The American people know what they want, the Searchers, Love Potion Number Nine, Nine, Nine. It's simple, it's catchy.”

December 16, 2011 Kid Rock tweets, “Romney is driving me nuts. The texts, friending requests. Can't he just leave me alone?”

December 17, 2011 In a bold bid to court the Hispanic vote, Governor Rick Perry announces he has selected Mexican Jumping Bean by Paul Whiteman as his campaign song. In a statement from his Texas hunting club, Person of Color Head, Perry said “I may not be schooled and all, but I know the good Lord must love Mexicans because he made so many of 'em.”

December 20, 2011 The remaining seven candidates for the Republican presidential nomination were embroiled in a heated exchange at a Las Vegas debate over claims to the Procol Harem song, Whiter Shade of Pale. Herman Cain, in a written statement, adopted the Beatles Revolution Number Nine, Nine, Nine, ironically from the White Album. Later, Cain said he thought it was from Magical Mystery Tour.

December 24, 2011 In a bold move to court the Christmas spirit vote, Governor Rick Perry announces Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Randy Brooks as his 2012 campaign song.

December 26, 2011 Kid Rock tweets, “Partied with Mitt just to get him off my back. I must admit I was pleasantly surprised. Dude's got an awesome look! He promised to hook me up.”

December 29, 2011 Michelle Bachmann denies her campaign has selected Bitch by the Rolling Stones and Witchy Woman by the Eagles as her 2012 theme songs and condemns those responsible for the hoax. In a statement, Ms. Bachmann said “Like the Dude in the Coen brothers hit movie The Big Lebowski, I hate the Eagles.”

January 2, 2012 Newt Gringrich only smiled enigmatically when asked by a reporter if he was the subject of Carly Simons' hit single, You're So Vain.

January 5, 2012 Herman Cain drops out of the Republican presidential race, suspending his suspended campaign,declaring “Lord take me downtown, I'm just lookin' for some tush.”

January 7, 2012 GOP presidential hopeful Dr. Ron Paul, slow to adopt a campaign song, selects Search and Destroy by Iggy and the Stooges from the Raw Power album. Dr. Paul commented “The song perfectly exemplifies my approach to dismantling the Federal government plus James Williamsons' guitar attack is fucking awesome.”

January 12, 2012 In a bold move to reestablish his evangelical credentials, Governor Rick Perry announces he has selected Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin as his 2012 campaign song. In a statement, Perry said, “I uh (long silence), I think (long silence), um, um, you know (uncomfortably long silence), if there's a, you know, bustle, um, in your, in your, your hedgerow, um (very long silence), don't be alarmed now. It's just a, a, a, sprink, sprinkling for the, um, um (interminably long silence) May Queen.”

January 12, 2012 GOP Presidential hopeful John Huntsman selected Spooky Mormon Hell Dreams, from the cast recording of the Broadway hit musical Book of Mormon by the guys from South Park, then announced he is dropping out of the race.

January 15, 2012 Kid Rock premiers his new song and video, Stiff As A Board. In the video Rock and Rom are seen driving around Salt Lake City in a Lincoln MKS sipping Diet Coke and coming to complete stops at intersections.

1 comment:

  1. Love it! And what is Obama's song for 2012?