GOP reaches out

Exciting New GOP Entertainment Offerings For 2016! 

Karl Rove, Live At the Apollo!    A live recording of Karl’s dazzling 2013, four night stand at the legendary Harlem venue.  Hear Karl rip through funk and R & B standards on the very same stage once graced by James Brown, Otis Redding and Sam Cooke.  Backed by a quartet of evenly tanned Liberty University coeds, the Rovette’s, Karl sweats through jumpsuit after jumpsuit, busts moves galore and pays homage to the Godfather of Souls famous cape routine.  Available on i Tunes and as a download on the John Birch Society website. 

Fifty-Shades of Akin   A racy new romance novel by well-known “pink” author Todd Akin.  Akin has created memorable character, Toddd Akin, a powerful red state senator who gives it all up for the love of a beautiful woman.  The dark, moody Toddd, an amalgam of the author, Rhett Butler, Stanley Kowalski and Jesus of Nazareth, woos the wealthy widow Mourdock, a handsome filly living in a castle out on the moor, alone save for her wolfhound Santorum.  Toddd wins the hand of the fair widow with chocolates, flowers, time-saving kitchen appliances and a gift for knowing what makes the ladies swoon.   

Mariachi!, the hit telenovela on Tacomundo, the new Koch-financed Spanish language network.  Mariachi! follows the lives and loves of Jesus, the handsome yet troubled mariachi played by Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, his wildly fertile wife Juanita, played by Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and their forty-seven children played by a rotating cast of indistinguishably brown child actors.  Trouble arrives in the form of the mustachioed bandito Pancho “Choochoo” Babaloo.  Pancho, played by a convincing Iowa Representative Steve King (R), fronts a rival mariachi group and has his eye on the fecund Juanita.  Brought to you by the good people at The Scott’s Miracle Grow company and its family of lawn care products and Porta Potty, outstanding in its field and yours, if you’re lucky, amigo.   

Voting ourselves into oblivion

Requiem For The Common Weal

Let’s drive a stake through the blackened heart

Of the Common Weal, We the People, fervid  

Eager Beavers keen to please our savvy Well-

Heeled God, Father Son and Holy Ghost, Inc.

Benevolent Wolves gathering together

the lathered multitudes of trusting sheep

for the splashy roll out of Armageddon

a highly leveraged integrated

multi-platform production assembled

overseas; one Bright Shiny Amulet for all

squirreled away in the pocket of every

man women and child, a smooth cool something

to finger while we brandish the other hand

in stiff armed salute, faces aglow

in the blinding light of the bonfire,

our Better Natures wafting skyward,

bathing us in His Righteousness until

the fuel runs out casting us into darkness

noticing, as if for the first time,

the silent closing ring of paired red eyes.