By
late January 2014 the city of Flint, Michigan, an hour’s drive north of my home,
was in the news, another financially strapped municipality under emergency
state control. I sat stranded, recovering
from surgery to repair chronic Achilles tendonitis, a condition inherited from
my father. By late February, foot immobilized
in a boot, I traveled with my brother to our mother’s Tennessee hometown, the
place she had chosen to live after our father’s death seventeen years earlier. She was content living in her small condo
across the river from the old county court house, happy, it seemed to me, as she
had ever been, perhaps even happier. Mother
had fallen several times in the past two months, every tumble requiring EMS
rescue. None fortunately, resulting in
serious injury. She had grown frail overnight
or so it seemed, helpless to care for herself, no longer able to drive. She suffered from rheumatoid arthritis and a
dog’s breakfast of lesser ailments. A friend
had been staying with her off and on.
The woman hinted she could provide around the clock care in her own home
several miles away. It was time for a short,
impromptu trip south. Time to assess mother’s
condition, persuade her to leave her condominium, negotiate financial details, make
all the necessary arrangements. Two
days. Time enough to sort things out,
tidy up, then return home to our respective lives. I was eager to play the role of the dutiful
son, but something else roiled unseen just below the surface. Looking back, my obliviousness stark in
hindsight, I had another reason for being there. I yearned to bear witness to the tragic opening
scene of my mother’s slow decline and eventual death. Everything else was busy work. Jokes buoyed us through Ohio; glib
self-deprecation, cynical takes on world events. Kentucky granted us license to crack wise about
family, irreverent and profane. Crossing
the state line triggered a bout of sober pragmatism, rehearsing euphemisms for
loss that would roll off our tongues with greater ease the more we said them. Dusk blanketed the Appalachian
foothills. We exited the freeway, drew
closer whistling past the graveyard of the inevitable. Our mother, all her possessions, a
condominium and its contents, a car that embodied the revered essence of her
late husband, our father, awaited our arrival, poised for final disposition
over the coming months.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Standpipe
February
26, 2016. First day ride-along but I’m
driving, behind the wheel of a Penske box truck. The woman training me, this is her
seventy-second consecutive day of Red Cross disaster deployment in Flint. Winter long and cold, she tells of slippery
stairs, sopping feet, ice covered sidewalks.
It’s snowing now, spring still weeks away. In back, three layers of bottled water ride
upended like old seabed thrust up by plate tectonics, cases heaped atop the
wheel well. I dumped the pallet on the
first turn leaving the warehouse. Look
at that place I say, nodding toward a ramshackle mobile home park. A shifting landscape of colorless trailers
hunkered among black skeletal trees, branches utterly convincing as the dead
fingers of a lost race of giants. The
woman doesn’t suffer fools. Says her
aunt used to live there. Not a bad park
compared to some. Hours later, water
gone, list checked off, we’re heading back to the warehouse. It’s snowing big wet flakes, sunset bullied into
submission by shouldering clouds. Now, this
park is really bad, the woman says, looking out her window. A low place, scrub woods, dark forms dissolving
into twilight. The trailers nearest the
road look like gaping skulls, black rectangles once fitted with windows and
doors. Aluminum long since stripped,
insulation exposed, they appear in twilight as box car size bales of filthy
cotton. No lights are visible. Oncoming darkness, damp, encroaching woods have
rubbed away what’s left of this place, left holes in the newsprint,
obliterating what amounts to the drawing of an amoral two year old. The woman says there are squatters. I peer into the gloom for cooking fires. Oncoming headlights on the road ahead,
torches of the Kings men bearing news of plague, braving a shortcut, black woods
closing in from all sides. My collar is
soaked, shoes turned to sponges, shuddering from the cold, the cold and nothing
more I tell myself.
Friday, August 12, 2016
Standpipe
June
8, 2016. No doubt about it, this is the
real thing. A place where things do not
necessarily go better with a sugary soft drink.
A neighborhood hostile to even the most sincere effort to teach it to
sing in perfect harmony. All morning
long we weave a haphazard web in this forgotten corner of the city. Check house numbers, veer to curbs, jump from
the cab. This is not a block that
invites the soul to linger. This house,
though consumptive in appearance like its neighbors, is distinguished by neat
red and white trim. Coke signs hang in
the window, a Coke plaque on the door next to a handwritten note, Please Go To
Back Door. I walk around back, my sight
line to the ERV blocked. No sign of a
dog, but another Coke sign in a back window.
Knock repeatedly, no answer.
Satisfied no one is home, I beat back to the truck. Coming even with the corner of the house, a
late modal sedan sweeps into view, wheels into the driveway. The windows are tinted opaque, bass thumps
from inside, reverberates in my chest.
Suddenly, my reflective Red Cross Disaster Relief vest feels gossamer
thin like a last minute Halloween costume, one of the lessor super heroes. Three young men exit the vehicle. Red Cross, water, I say, consider saying again
like a protective mantra. One of them
enters the house through the front, steps back out. His mother, she’s not home. Eight cases of water and Britta replacement
cartridges. Inside its dim, curtains
drawn, the air still and close, silence a disinterested third party. Coca-Cola memorabilia hangs everywhere. Walls painted red and white. There’s a big illuminated Coke clock on the
wall in the tiny kitchen. Classic Coke
rug. When I ask, the young man grins and
shakes his head. His mother is crazy for
the stuff. Grew up in Atlanta, worked at
corporate H.Q. I don’t ask in what capacity. We stand together for a moment longer taking
it all in, me for the first time, her son, perhaps, nursing a familiar
ambivalence. How to appease a conflicted
southern heritage, an old woman’s pride, deep abiding love.
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