The World's Best Cheeseburgers

The World’s Best Cheeseburgers

You’d be surprised to learn that they operate

out of a nondescript warehouse on

a cul-de-sac in a trackless

industrial park on the periphery of

some cookie cutter suburb in some

middling hub city somewhere in the Midwest,

a windowless building with a net-less

backboard bolted to the wall near a rear

side door a few steps away from a pipe

and plank picnic table chained to a

coniferous tree offering little

in the way of shade, not at all what you’d

expect given the critical nature

of their job, an irony on a scale you

could appreciate, on par with the

scads of drone operators in

un-tucked polo shirts sipping Diet Cokes

in cubicles somewhere near Las Vegas,

stepping outside to smoke, propping a back

door open with a dun colored rock,

but just as secretive, perhaps even

more so, at work day in and day out doing

whatever it is they do, all with an

unseen hand, applying arcane algorithms,

employing units of weights and measures,

analyzing materials at the

molecular level, consulting,

if need be, oracles and tumbled

vertebrate, all with an eye toward making

a definitive determination

suitable for signage let’s say, in the

window of some godforsaken diner on

a secondary road running through a

transitional neighborhood of a core

city somewhere within the sprawl of

a Mid-Atlantic metropolitan

region, a hand lettered sign that

proudly states, in this case anyway,

“The World’s Best Cheeseburgers”, a small

testament to these unsung, nameless hero’s.