Rhymes for the new year

New Year for Cynics

It’s snowing here, gray and brisk and bracing.

Look out on the feeders, morning is a-wasting.

Coffee, keep it coming, the news is grim and dire.

Too early for gin, but then again, I’m retired.

Out in Texas, thay’s a-caterwallin’ and a-prancin’.

‘Round bonfires of school books thay’s a-dancin’.

Fum heah on out, whilst thay’s waiting in line,

on donuts, doctors or sum such, open carry’s jes’ fine.

Iowa is flapjack flat, got a little town called Dubuque.

Grand Old Party swine aplenty, enough to make a fella puke.

Take ‘merica back, they like to mewl, spit and bellow

Let’s drop Acme Earthquake pills in their Kool-Aid, Exlax in their jello.

Nevermind the polar bears, forget the seals and puffins.

Curtains for Eskimos in their umiaks, the GOP’s been bluffing.

Goodnight Marshall Islands, Tuvalu and Miami.

Goodnight New York City, kiss your ass goodbye Big Easy. 

Get over it boy, they like to say, it happened years ago.

Y’all woulda wound up here anyway, hopeful immigrants from Congo.

The Stars and Bars, ‘bout all we got left, lost the NBA and the POTUS.

Supreme Court our last best hope, stole the Voting Rights Act right under your noses. 

Speaking of the Robert’s court, let’s queue up clutching copies of Citizens United.

Great ice sheets of cash the size of Greenland melted, the political landscape blighted.

Please sign my copy Clarence, then pass the pen to Antonin and John, Steve and Sam.

Freedom of speech, well, some more than others, but I want my pen back, man!

Stuff.  It’s all over the house, got it packed right up to the rafters.

Once, they made it up in Akron, down in Greenville, then along came NAFTA

China had the market till their air went sour, workers yelling they weren’t getting enough.

Chasing low pay around the globe, slavery boosts share price and I need more stuff.